Dual Relationships in Spiritual Direction
This template is offered to help you establish a clear working agreement at the beginning of a spiritual direction relationship. You are welcome to use it as written, adapt the language, or create your own version.
You may choose to go through these points verbally and sign and date the form yourself as confirmation that you have covered them in conversation with your new directee. A version signed by both director and directee is considered best practice, though not mandatory.
At the heart of spiritual direction is the graced action of the Spirit and the presence of God. This agreement does not lessen that reality; rather, the boundaries named here help create the freedom and focus needed for spiritual direction to deepen and flow.
What should you cover in a working agreement?
What Spiritual Direction Is and Is Not
Although anything from your life may arise in our conversations, the heart of spiritual direction is our shared noticing:
how the presence of God is being experienced,
how the Spirit may be moving in your life, and
how you might respond to that movement.
Spiritual direction is not counselling, supervision, coaching, mentoring, or prayer ministry.
3. Confidentiality
Everything shared in spiritual direction is confidential, with two exceptions:
Supervision:
I meet regularly with a supervisor to ensure best practice. I may share elements of our sessions, always anonymously.Risk of Harm:
If you share something that indicates you or someone else is at risk of serious harm or abuse, I may need to report this to the relevant authorities. I will normally attempt to discuss this with you before doing so.
5. Frequency, Donation, and Cancellation Policy
We will usually meet every 4–6 weeks for around an hour, though some prefer a different rhythm.
We will agree a donation or payment amount. If you need to cancel within the same week and the appointment cannot be rescheduled, I may ask for a full or partial donation.
If I pay to rent a room for our meeting, I may need to ask you to cover that cost in the event of late cancellation.
(You may specify your exact donation and cancellation policy here.)
6. Reviews and Endings
I will suggest informal reviews from time to time to ensure you are receiving what you need and to discuss how our work might be strengthened.
You are encouraged to raise any concerns or difficulties as they arise so that we can adjust as needed.
You are free to end the spiritual direction relationship at any time. I encourage you to discuss this with me so we can make a good ending together.
7. Data Protection
I will keep factual notes to a minimum and avoid including identifying details. Notes are stored securely.
Your contact details are kept separately on my password-protected phone and computer and will be deleted at the end of our work unless otherwise agreed.
Please keep personal details to a minimum in text messages and emails to protect your privacy.
7. Mental Health Concerns
As a spiritual director, I am not able to provide psychological or clinical support for serious or ongoing mental health issues that require specialist care. If such support is needed, I will encourage you to seek it alongside spiritual direction.
If it becomes clear that I am not the right person for you at this time, I will help you find another spiritual director.
If appropriate, I may invite you to share the name of your GP, psychiatrist, or another health professional in case of emergency.
8.Dual Relationships
It is best if spiritual direction stands apart from other everyday relationships so that you feel free to speak openly without concern for personal reactions.
If our lives overlap in any way, we will be discreet in public settings and will not refer to session content. I will not cross the boundaries of our spiritual direction relationship in ways that could be detrimental to you.
9. Code of Practice
I am a member of the Community of Spiritual Directors, London Centre for Spiritual Direction, and I abide by their Code of Practice.
This can be found at: www.lcsd.org.uk/resources
10. A Commitment to Prayer
I commit to holding you and our work in prayer, and I ask you to do the same.
My hope is that our time together is guided and blessed by the Spirit.